I Am.... Hope

So, after all the posts about this I couldn't just title mine the same. It just isn't me...

I am . . . such a procrastinator
I think . . . less often than I should
I want . . . (this is where you got me, Jenni) to hug my mom again and never let go
I have . . . everything I could have ever asked for and so much more
I miss . . . Mom
I fear . . . not living this day to the fullest
I feel . . . happily solemn and melancholy (I don't know if that is possible, but when I really thought about it, this is what came to me.)
I hear . . . My Playlist on the blog. I have loved this addition, choosing songs that help me reminisce and feel so focused.
I smell . . . Nothing right now (my nose is a little stuffy at this moment)
I crave . . . oddly enough, nothing at the moment... oh, wait, I think I could go for some chocolate covered fruit!!!
I cry . . . when I am folding laundry; when I am watching tv; when I pass pictures hanging on the wall, etc. I am a emotional wreck lately.
I search . . . for a purpose beyond preschool!! I will be at that strange moment in every mom's life that is reached at one point or another in less than a year... my youngest is going to be in Kindergarten. I won't even be 30. And I am already desperately seeking and, yes, "searching" for something to do, a purpose for myself as a person once this takes place.
I wonder . . . what book I should read next on my long list (shelf) of books I want so badly to read. I finally finished 'I Dare You' and gave it away, as instructed. Now I am at a loss.
I regret . . . not being here when my mom passed. (Does that ever go away?)
I wish . . . my dishes would get off their lazy bases and wash themselves.
I love . . . my sweet, awesome, caring husband & children
I care . . . too much. My husband tells me this repeatedly
I always . . . worry that I offend someone after the conversation has been done for a few years.
I worry . . . that I won't teach my children all they need to learn from me.
I am not . . . massively skilled at any one thing. I dip my fingers in so many different crafty/musical/miscellaneous pies it is ridiculous!
I remember . . . "my phone number from when I was 5" Yep, me, too. But I can also remember being 8 months old. Weird, huh?!?!
I believe . . . My Savior, Jesus Christ, the Son of my Heavenly Father, gave his life, his blood for me, simply because He Loves me.
I know . . . that modern revelation exists on the earth right this very moment. I have not a single doubt in my entire being about that.
I sing . . . all the time. Don't have a radio on when I am there, cause I am even singing in my head.
I don't always . . . have a clean house. In fact I rarely have a clean house!!
I argue . . . with my hubby for sport.
I write . . . in my journals, poetry book, and little napkin notes for my kids' lunches.
I lose . . .my head on a daily,almost hourly basis.
I listen . . . to others speaking around me. I don't consider it eaves dropping because I am usually listening for something of interest and knowledge (hey, every opportunity, huh?)
I can . . . do anything I set my mind to!! I may not be successful, but if I set my mind to it, I can certainly put in a wild effort!!
I need . . . a magic fairy to come and scan about a thousand old photos and categorize them! Anyone??? Thought not.
I forget . . . everything. But to be more specific, names. I can remember numbers, but don't ask me to remember a name.
I am happy . . . when I am cooking in the kitchen with friends and family! I love that.

So, this is what I am. Unchangeable by anyone but myself. And I won't take any suggestions, cause "I am" stubborn that way.